« He couldn’t find his watch. »
« He was carrying her, Mom. »
« Yes, exactly, Ariana. »
« So why did you tell me it was your fault? »
« He was carrying her, Mom. »
I looked at my daughter.
« Because he was ashamed. I thought that by taking responsibility, it would put an end to all these arguments. »
Ariana sat down next to me.
« But you did that all the time. Why? »
« I thought that pleasing everyone was more important than telling the truth. »
She took my hand.
I looked at my daughter.
« I don’t want you going home with him. »
« My darling, I haven’t decided what I’m going to do yet. I’m just happy to be here with you and Aunt Sandra. »
« He left you all alone on the side of a highway, Mom! »
« And I need to think about what that means for my marriage, darling. »
She reluctantly agreed.
« I’m worried about you. »
« My darling, I haven’t decided what I’m going to do yet. »
« I know. But I need you to trust me to make this decision. »
She hugged me again.
Then I went to look for Eric.
***
He was waiting near the kitchen.
« Can we talk in private, Amy? »
I followed him into the next room.
She hugged me.
« Things got out of hand today, » he said.
« You left me at a rest stop! »
« I was annoyed. We were late, and you know how much I hate waiting. »
« You’re the one who made us leave an hour late because you couldn’t find your sunglasses, and I’m the problem, Eric? »
« It’s different. »
» How so ? »
« I was annoyed. »
He looked away.
« Okay. I shouldn’t have left like that. »
« Why did you do it? »
« I wanted you to understand what it feels like when someone doesn’t respect your time. »
I stared at him.
« I’ve been waiting for you for sixteen years, Eric. »
« Why did you do it? »
« That’s an exaggeration. »
« Do you remember Ariana’s birthday dinner? Or the flight we missed because you wouldn’t leave the house? You blamed me for both. »
He changed his position.
« They were accidents. »
« And leaving me at a rest area wasn’t really a rest area. You wanted to leave me behind, Eric. You made a choice. »
« That’s an exaggeration. »
After a pause, he said, « I’m sorry. Can we move on to something else, please? »
« Not tonight. »
« Amy, everyone is waiting for us. They expect us to leave here all happy. »
I almost laughed.
After everything that had happened, he was still worried about the people who were waiting.
« So, we’re going back. »
« Not tonight. »
***
When we got home, Sandra was putting dinner on the table.
A member of the family looked at us in turn.
« Eric apologized, Amy. Maybe you two should sort this out between yourselves. »
« I would have preferred that, » I said. « But I needed someone to come and get me. »
Eric cleared his throat.
« Before we eat, I want to apologize for leaving in my car earlier. »
« Eric apologized, Amy. »
Ariana was watching him.
He turned towards me.
« I’m sorry, Amy. I shouldn’t have left you there. »
« Thank you for apologizing. »
He looked relieved.
« Okay. Can we move on to something else? »
« I’m sorry, Amy. »
» Not yet. »
His face tightened.
« What else do you want me to tell you? »
« I want you to understand why I won’t be going back with you. »
A silence fell over the room.
Eric stared at me.
» Not yet. »
« Are you going to stay here? »
« Yes. I need time to think. »
« Are you seriously putting our marriage in danger for nine minutes? »
« No, Eric. You left me there because of those nine minutes. I’m making this decision because of everything that happened before. »
He looked at Sandra.
« Are you going to stay here? »
She did not intervene.
Neither did Ariana.
I continued.
« I’ve been apologizing for things you’ve done for years. I defended you when you embarrassed me, and I’ve made excuses for the way you speak to me. »
« I never asked you to do that. »
She did not intervene.
« No. But you never stopped me either. »
He rubbed his forehead.
« So, what happens now? »
« I’m staying here for the weekend. When I get home, we’ll have to discuss what needs to change. I’m not going to pretend this day never happened. »
He looked at me intently.
« I’m staying here for the weekend. »
« What if I don’t agree? »
« Then I’ll have another decision to make. »
He remained silent for a long time.
Then he went out and brought back my purse, my suitcase, my jacket and my keys.
He placed them near the door.
« I’ll call you tomorrow, » he said.
« What if I don’t agree? »
« No. I’ll talk to you when I’m ready. »
He nodded and left.
***
Later that evening, Ariana met me in the guest room.
« Are you and Dad going to get a divorce? »
« I haven’t decided yet. »
« Do you still love him? »
He nodded.
» Yes. »
She looked perplexed.
« So why don’t you go back with him? »
« Because loving him doesn’t mean I have to accept the way he treats me. »
She sat down next to me.
« Are you scared? »
» A little. »
» Yes. »
« Me too. But I’d rather see you happy, Mom. You don’t have to stay married to Dad for me. I just want you to know that. »
I took her in my arms.
« We’re going to take things one day at a time. »
***
The next morning, I called Eric.
He replied immediately.
» Me too. »
« Are you going home today? »
« No. I’m staying with Sandra for a while. I need time to decide what to do next. »
« Amy, I apologized. What more can I do? »
« You can think about how you treated me, because this didn’t start at the rest area. »
« My phone hasn’t stopped ringing, » he said. « Ever since Sandra told everyone everything, everyone keeps asking me why I left you there. »
« Then tell them the truth. »
« I’m staying at Sandra’s. »
« What am I supposed to say? »
« Tell them you wanted to punish me because I made you wait a few minutes. »
He said nothing.
« I’m tired of sparing you the embarrassment when you make me feel ashamed of myself. »
« I knew you had taken responsibility for Ariana’s birthday dinner, » he said.
I gripped the phone in my hand.
He said nothing.
« Did you know? »
« Yes. I was embarrassed, and you made it easier for me. »
I waited for him to explain.
He didn’t do it.
« It hurt me more than you think, Eric. »
« I know, » he said softly.
« No. I don’t think you know. But you can start thinking about it. »
« Did you know? »
We hung up.
When I got home, Sandra and Ariana were sitting at the kitchen table.
« Did you speak to Eric? » Sandra asked.
« Yes. I’ll stay here for now. »
Ariana approached and took me in her arms.
« How are you feeling, Mom? »
We hung up.
« I’m scared, » I admitted. « But I’m relieved. »
Sandra pulled up a chair.
« Come and have breakfast with us. »
I sat down, and Ariana handed me the coffee.
My phone was next to my plate, but I didn’t look at it.
For sixteen years, I had done everything to make Eric happy.
That morning, I took my time.
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