Spencer took out a second envelope.
« Caleb,
I didn’t know how to tell you. It only happened once. Spencer and I were in college together, and there was always a chemistry between us.
But that was a mistake.
And I didn’t want to ruin everything. I was going to tell you… but then I got pregnant. And I knew Liam was his.
Spencer and I were at university together,
And there has always been a chemistry between us.
Please, love our son no matter what. Please stay. Be the father I know you were always meant to be.
We need you, Caleb.
I love you.
— Katie.
Please be the father I know you were always meant to be.
My hands were trembling.
« She lied to me, » I whispered. « Then she died. And I continued to build my life around her. »
« You did what any respectable man would have done, » Spencer said. « You were there. »
“No,” I replied, looking up. “I stayed. And I adored my son. He’s my son, Spencer. I was the one holding him when they cut his umbilical cord. I was the one begging him to cry in the hospital room, because I could see his mother was dying… I love Liam with all my heart.”
« She lied to me, » I whispered. « Then she died. »
« I know. And I’m not asking you to come here to be Liam’s father… I’m not trying to replace you. »
« But you’re asking me to change my child’s entire life. »
Spencer has expired.
« I spoke to a lawyer. I haven’t filed anything. I don’t want a custody battle. But I promise you one thing, I won’t disappear either. And I will make sure that everything is fair. »
« I’m not trying to replace you. »
« Do you think it’s a question of fairness? » I asked. « Liam is 10 years old, and he sleeps with a reindeer plush toy that his mother chose for him. He still believes in Santa Claus. »
« He also deserves to know where he comes from, » Spencer said. « I only ask one thing. Tell him the truth. At Christmas. »
« I’m not going to agree with you. »
« Then don’t agree, » he said, looking me in the eyes. « Make a choice. »
« Do you think this is a matter of fairness? »
That afternoon, I went to the cemetery. But before leaving, I sat down at the kitchen table and let the memory resurface, a memory I had never allowed myself to express aloud.
Ten years ago, on Christmas morning, Katie and I walked into the hospital hand in hand. It was the day Liam was due. Katie called him our ‘Christmas miracle’ and skipped lightly on her tiptoes, even though she was exhausted.
« If he looks like you, » she whispered, squeezing my hand, « I’ll send him back. »
That afternoon, I went to the cemetery.
We had packed a little sock in our bag for the hospital. We had chosen a name. And we had booked a private room for Katie.
Then, a few hours later, my wife’s hand went limp. Her head dropped, and chaos erupted in the room. They rushed her to the operating room. I paced back and forth in the waiting room.
A few moments later, a doctor placed a motionless and silent body in my arms.
We had chosen a first name.
« He’s your son, » she said softly.
I held him close to my chest. I begged him. I implored him… then he started to cry.
I took that cry and built a life around it, promising to keep my son happy and healthy.
But I didn’t know how to keep that promise.
« He’s your son. »
On Christmas morning, Liam came into the living room in his reindeer pajamas and sat down next to me on the sofa. He was holding the same stuffed animal Katie had chosen back when we were still arguing about diaper brands and parenting methods.
« You’re quiet, Dad, » he told me. « That usually means something’s wrong. »
I handed him a small gift package and took a deep breath.
« Is it because of the biscuits? » he asked me.
« Generally, that means something is wrong. »
« No, it’s about Mom. And something she never told me. »
He listened to every word, without interrupting me once.
« Does that mean you’re not my real father? » he asked.
His voice was weak, and for the first time, he didn’t seem his age. He seemed younger, like the little boy who used to come and take refuge in my bed after a nightmare.
« Does that mean you’re not my real father? »
« That means I’m the one who stayed, » I replied softly. « And that I know you better than anyone else. »
« But… he’s the one who contributed to my creation? »
« Yes, » I replied. « But I’m the one who raised you. And I’m the one who watched you grow up. I’m your father. »
« Will you always be my father? » he asked me.
« Yes, I will be your father every day, Liam. »
« And the one who knows you better than anyone else. »
He didn’t say anything else, he simply leaned towards me and hugged me. We stayed like that, embracing.
« You’ll have to meet him, okay? » I told him. « You don’t have to be friends with him or consider him family, but maybe one day you’ll come to like him… »
« Okay, Dad, » he replied.
We remained like that,
entwined.
» I’ll try. «
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that there are many ways to start a family, but the most authentic one is the one you choose to stick to.
» I’ll try. «
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